Sliding in home!
Do you ever go shopping and buy something, hang it in your closet and take it out in a few days and wonder to yourself –“Self what were you thinking when you bought that”. I do this more now days than I use to. I think it is because in my mind’s eye I am 25. I have not caught onto the idea that I am pushing 60 real hard. When I look in the mirror I wonder who the heck is that old lady and who let her in my house! It is like when you run into someone you went to school with and you think “man do they look old” and you realize they are the same age as you. Then you say a silent pray that time has been better to you than it has to them. When you get home you rush to the mirror and only confirm that you in deed are old. Being old does not bother me – I just can’t figure out how I got here. I just graduated from high school a couple of years ago – on wait that can’t be right I have children in their thirties. While I am on that subject – when did they get so darn old? My Grandmother always said time passes faster the older you get – if it passes by me any faster I will have to celebrate the 4th of July and Christmas on the same day.
I remember having a conversation with my Dad many years ago and I told him I could not understand why anyone would want to die. I loved life then and still do. The world is full of so many wonderful people, places and things; my thought was how anything could be better. Dad in his infinite wisdom told me that as we get older God puts a desire in our hearts to be united with Him and our family and friends. I did not have very many folks at that time in my life that had taken their final journey home. Haven seemed like a faraway place filled with strangers, it might be a nice place to visit but the here and now was as far as I could see. Now that I am “old” I understand what Dad was telling me so many years ago. I still love life – everyday is an adventure for me. It can never be said that I did not take time to smell the roses or daisies or marigolds or anything that happens along my path. BUT in those quite moments when I take time to listen to that small still voice I do feel a yearning to be go home – I have lots of folks on the other side now. Family and friends alike and I will be happy to see them again. To sit at the feet of the Lord and Mary did feel my heart with a yearning that almost takes my breath away.
I am not saying I want to make my final journey anytime soon. Heck, I feel like I got several more good years in me. I have not lived long enough to become a burden on my kids – pay back is going to be heck! There are still roads I have not gone down, flowers I have not smelled, places I have not seen and people I have not meet. I want to live long enough to enjoy as much of everything as possible. When my life is over I don’t want to walk in to home plate, I want to slide in yelling “Thank you God for letting me live such a blessed life – now I’m here to help You get this place straight!”
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