Saturday, January 12, 2008

Life as a Deacon's wife is not dull - to say the least!

I decide to start off the New Year with a light hearted blog. I have written before about my many adventures as a Deacon’s wife. Well, Sunday night Mass was definitely an adventure! I was enlisted to be the alter server (the person that assist the deacon and priest during Mass, we wear a white alb and sit off to the side of the altar). This is not a problem as we often do not have anyone show up on Sunday night – I don’t blame the kids that are assigned this duty – THEY CAN”T DRIVE.
It was the feast of the Holy Family and Father wanted to use the incensor – LOTS of incense. Father’s theory is “if they ain’t coughing we ain’t used enough incense”. We have a beautiful new incensor but Father prefers the old one. I was in charge of the incensor – the coals had been lit and we were ready to head down the aisle. Father was giving me instruction on how he wanted me to swing the incensory as we entered the church. He wanted me to use the old 1-2-3 loop over top. I told him Tom would have a heart attack if I did that; just let me use the standard side to side. Farther said just watch me do it – it is not hard. With that he goes 1-2-3 and as the incensor rounded the top of the loop it FLEW off the end of the chain, hit the floor the coals jumped out and started rolling down the middle of the sacristy leaving a trail of burning carpet along the way. Father is already vested and could not get his alb moving in the right direction to be of much help. I knew not to grab the incensor or attempt to pick up the coals bare handed. So, I am running around trying to find the bucket we use to put Holy Water in – my greatest fear was that the smoke from the carpet would set of the sprinkler system. Can’t imagine what the folks in the pews would have thought as they sit there prayerfully waiting for mass to start and suddenly it is raining - indoors!
I finally found something to put water in, doused the five spots that were smoking in the carpet. I grabbed a towel and started trying to soak up some of the ash and water while the sacristan is jumping around yelling “That is one of the good towels; don’t use that one it is a good towel”. At this point I would have ripped off my alb and used it to assure that the FIRE was out. Once satisfied that the sacristy would not erupt in flames we headed out to begin mass.
The music begins to play – I am carrying the cross and as I take my first step down the aisle Father whispers “I am going to tell Father (pastor) that you started the fire”. Well, I almost tripped over my own feet – then he finishes with “Cause he loves you more than me”.
We made it through Mass without any further incidents. I emerged with yet another story to add to my raptor of “Life as a Deacon’s wife”!

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