Monday, September 3, 2007

Not everyone is going to love the Deacon - and some may love him a bit too much

Not everyone is going to LOVE your Rev. Mr. and some might love him too much!

If your husband will be ordained soon don’t think you are going to join hands and skip into church to a standing ovation every week. Nope, there are going to be those that he just can’t make happy no matter what he does. His Homilies will be too long or too short. He does not deliver his sermon the same way the priest does; or even worse the “Old Deacon”. (You know the one that your husband replaced). He paid too much attention to Ms. Jones and did not even speak to Ms. Smith. Little Johnny ask him to bless his new cross and the blessing just did not sound right to someone nearby. Did you see how he held that baby during baptism, and I don’t think he put enough water on her head!
Trust me you will hear things about your husband that makes you want to poke someone in the head with a sharp object. You know how hard you husband worked on his Homily; you can count the hours it took him away from the family. And that Baptism looked beautiful to you! First and for most you have to remember it is not your job to defend your husband. In most cases he does not need to be defended. Folks are entitled to their opinion (even if it is wrong) and they have no trouble voicing it to you or the Priest. Very seldom do I mention anything that is said to Tom. As a Deacon he has enough on his plate, and if he does something wrong Father Ed will let him know. However I will be the first one to let him know if his Homily was a stinker. Remember I have been listening to Tom preach for years so the bar is set rather high! When the kids were young he judge how well his delivery was based on what they remembered, now he just has me and I don’t give out many A’s. I never know what Tom’s Homily’s are going to be about – I hear them for the first time along with the congregation.
Then there are the people or should I say “women” that are going to “love” him just a little too much. This is a subject that no one wants to talk about, but everybody asks about when we are one on one. I have no idea why, but I saw it happen when Tom was a minister – some women just have a thing about a “Man of the Cloth”. These are the women that always have a question for your husband or they just need a few minutes of this time. Let’s face it girls we are lucky our husbands are wonderful caring men. A quality that is not found often enough in men and if a “church lady” is lonely they are going to latch on to a man that seems to care. Trust me you husband has been warned in formation (or at least I hope he has) and he will know how to handle the situation with no interference from you. Don’t start looking at every lady that is nice to your husband with suspicious eyes – you will make your life and his miserable. Just know that it could happen! Tom does have one rule that has served him well over the years - he is never alone with a women. He does not go to lunch with a women alone, he does not close his office door when he is alone with a woman and he will not go to visit a women alone. Sad that a Deacon or Priest have to worry about these things but they do.

I do not stand at the back of the church with Tom after Mass. Why not you ask – because if someone needs to talk to him they need to feel free to do so. Folks will often approach your husband with family problems that they would never think of speaking to the priest about. That is one of the blessings our husbands bring to the church, they have dealt with mad wives and teenagers.

Your husband is not in a popularity contest and sometimes he will have to make decisions that will not sit well with some people. Your job is to be that “soft place” for him to land when the going get rough. Love him, pray for him and support him even if it is from a distance sometimes.

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