Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I have part-timers!

I have part-timers! No, I do not have Alzheimer because most of the time my brain functions as it should. Then there are those times when I walk into a room and have no idea what I am there for. Today someone ask for my cell phone number, this is a number I have repeated no less than a million times, for the life of me I could not remember the last 2 numbers. I have never been good with names so as long I as do not forget my husbands or the kid’s names I figure I am ahead of the game. I lose my keys and glasses on regular bases. For the most part that does not bother me, except for the times that Tom tells me they are on top of my head. So, I have decided I do not have Alzheimer, I have part-timers. It is like when a tape hits a blank spot then starts up again. It is just a momentary blank spot in my tape. My greatest fear is that I will wake up one morning and my entire tape will be blank.
I am not trying to make light of a serious disease. Quite the contrary – Tom had two uncles die from this awful debilitating disease. They suffered for many years as did the family. Tom and I have also visited several people over the pasted years for church that had Alzheimer’s. It is so hard to watch a once brilliant person struggle to figure out how to put on their shoes and socks. Thankfully there comes a point when the suffer no longer remembers that he does not remember. While this is comforting for them it is so very difficult for their family.
So, you see I have seen this diease up close and personal and I am truly worried. If this horrible diease should be my cross someday I can only pray that I can fade quietly into that dark night without my family having to suffer. One lady that Tom and I use to visit never failed to say when we left “now don’t forget next week I will not know who you are”. True to her word, the next week we had to spent 5 minutes explaining who we were. She could not remember what church she attended, but she never forgot a word of the prayers we prayed with and for her. One man we visited in a nursing home insisted that the Pope had lunch with him every day. Niki, a lady we visited for many years, had a lucid moment and told me that she knew she was a pain in the ass but that God would bless me someday for coming to see her. I agreed with her and told her to tell me again, and she did. Niki lived with her daughter and one day she called and said that she just could not deal with it any longer. Niki was convinced that someone had stolen her bedroom, not the whole house just her bedroom. I went over and spent some time with Niki. I agreed with her that indeed her bedroom had been stolen but I had it on good authority that they would bring it back before time for her to go to bed. She was content with my solution. My heart broke for a daughter that could not accept, at that moment, that her once intelligent and strong Mother no longer existed.
A lady at church who's Mother ended her worldly journey this week after not being among for several years. Her daughter never missed a Sunday bring her Mom to mass. Again I saw someone that did not recognize the daughter sitting beside her but did not miss a word in the prayers that we prayed.
I am left with this question: if someday that veil of darkness covers my mind will my faith have been strong enough that I will remember the prayers?

Lord, please give a special portion of Your grace to all the families that are touched by this horrible disease.

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