Tuesday, July 10, 2007

God has a sense of humor! I know He is laughing at me.

Have you ever had one of those days that it might have been better if you had stayed in bed? Well, I don’t have them very often but today ranks right up there with the worst of them. I don’t mean “worst” like the day my parents died or the day my best friend lost her battle with lung cancer but just one of those days when things just seemed out of sorts. It started with a pain in my knee that made me what to throw up. I have had both knees replaced and for the most part I have no trouble with either one of them. I did something to mess up my oldest new knee a few days ago and the pain just will not go away. Everyone says I have a high tolerance for pain – whatever that means. Yes, I can have dental work done without shots, I have too many tattoos’ to count and when I had my knee replaced I did not have to get my pain meds refilled. So, is that a “high tolerance” for pain? I have no idea! When you are in the hospital after surgery they ask you “where does your pain rank on a scale from 1 to 10 – 10 being the worst.” Maybe I have never had the worst pain, so how do I judge it? I digress – back to my day. I finally got enough BC powers in me to numb the pain – BC powers are pretty much a Southern thing, it is something like an aspirin crushed up in a little pouch that you pour on your tongue and wash down with a swig of Coke or RC cola. I hobble out to the truck – have to drive the truck today because I have to pick up a pressure washer at one property and take it to another one. Make it to pick it up – had to down another BC on the way. I have to admit I am not the brightest crayon in the pack but I should have made sure the guy strapped the dang thing down. In my BC induced haze I headed for my next stop – I am sure you can guess where this is going. I had to slam on the brakes and BAM the power washer came through the back window. I live in Atlanta so at first I thought I had been shot! After taking a quick inventory of my parts I realized I was OK but the truck did not fair quite as well. I did not ever bother to get out of the truck – no need at that point. It has not rained in Atlanta in weeks, maybe months AND you guessed it! I have no back window and it starts pouring the rain. Oh, well – all I can say is God has one heck of a sense of humor. Finally got where I was going to drop the window eating machine. Walked in the office and the manager starts screaming – “You have blood running down your arm”. Dang if I didn’t, guess some of the glass hit the back of my arm, there was certainly no chance I was going to bleed to death. They insisted on cleaning me up and patching up my wounds. The maintenance man put plastic over my window and used Alabama Chrome (duct tape) to affix the plastic to the cab of the truck. It was no ordinary duct tape it was black and yellow – looked like the tape police use at crime scenes. Off I go again – looked a little like Fred Sanford. My VW bug is my mode of transportation choice but today I HAD to drive the truck – now I am driving down 285 in a TRUCK with a garbage bag duct taped to the back window. AND it starts to rain again – I turn on the windshield wipers and the one on the driver’s side FLYS off. OK, God you have my attention. Understand that I do not think God did any of this to me – but I sure was counting on him getting me out of it! I did make it home and the guy will be here in the morning to replace the rear shield or whatever you call it. I have taken off all the bandages and eaten a pint of Rocky Road ice cream. Tomorrow will be better! Well, until I step on the scales and discover that the pint of ice I ate has caused me to gain 5 lbs. during the night. Keep laughing God, I am glad I can be of some entertainment for you - but just remember one day I will be up there with you and pay back is going to be - well you get the picture.

1 comment:

  1. You should have known if you were coming to Millwood that GOD has a sense of humor, hell, I must keep him laughing 24 hours a day. I did not hear about your adventure, but next time call me and I'll let you know if the coast is clear. I was wondering why these last couple of days it has been so uneventful, he was saving it all for you....LOL